But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
