I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize