that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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