I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
