so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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