Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Randomize
