Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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