your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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