i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
