i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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