Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
