Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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