So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
