Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
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