Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.