Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
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What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.