Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!