NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
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things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
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It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying