Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Found your dick twin last night
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.