Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*