I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
