I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
