i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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