Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
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