i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
