that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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