dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
