Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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