I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
