Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
