Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(952): View more from Minnesota

I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.

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(707): View more from California

I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor

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(419): View more from Ohio

currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school

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(850): View more from Florida

No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....

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(214): View more from Texas

Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life

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(309): View more from Illinois

the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me

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(419): View more from Ohio

you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there

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(740): View more from Ohio

Got another job?

(607): View more from New York

If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.

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(734): View more from Michigan

welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT

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