I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
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well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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