i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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