i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
