I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
