he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
third nipple confirmed
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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