I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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