Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
