idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
