if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
