ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
