i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
