how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
