idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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