Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
That reminds me...we need to get swords
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
