we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
