why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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