even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
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grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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