Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
