He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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