margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
