Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize