My pussy is not your playground.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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