So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
