It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
