I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
