it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
