hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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