There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
