So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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