Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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