That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
