WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
