Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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