Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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