i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
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I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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