Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
