That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
