The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
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