I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize