Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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