Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
You pole danced in your parka.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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