I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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