He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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