i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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